To make matters even worse...

Oh my god... I thought I felt blindsided before. Are you ready for a doozie?

I went to my appointment today... and found out that the cut-off "size" for a D&C is 12 weeks. The baby stopped developing at 13.5 weeks, making me ineligible for the procedure by a week and a half.

The only option they have deemed safe for me, physically, is to be checked in to the hospital (in the labor & deliver ward, no less) where I'll be given medication every 4 hours or so to basically force my body to go in to labor. I'll have contractions/cramping, the medication will most likely make me sick, and it could take longer than 24 hours to complete the whole process.

I feel absolutely sick to my stomach. I've never had a hospital stay that I was old enough to remember (rotavirus at 9 months old, out patient surgery at 5 years...) and hospitals make me feel uneasy when I'm just a visitor, let alone a patient. I'm scared about the piddly things, like an IV and taking pain medication... scared about the nausea... but I'm obviously scared about what I'm going to experience, more than anything else.

Thank you all for your encouragement... it means a lot to me, and to Ryan. I'll be back soon to give everyone an update on how I'm feeling and what's going to happen next.