Friday, October 5, 2007

Worry...

Today hasn't been a good day. I'm worried today, and just somewhat "off."

I'm worried today after reading someone's blog about a blighted ovum (basically, a baby who never properly developed, turning into a small bundle of cells and things... a very early miscarriage.) and her issues with getting (and staying) pregnant.

I shouldn't have read the blog... it made me nervous. It seems like every site I visit has some mention of miscarriage, and I wish it would all just go away! It's hard to "just skip over it" and not read the bad stuff... it's this strange curiosity.

My ultrasound is quickly approaching and I'm so scared! What if we go in and something is wrong? What if we can't see the tiny little heartbeat on the screen?

I want to be optimistic, and odds are everything will be just fine and dandy, but I can't help but worry. I worry that I've told too many people too early in the game. I worry that something will be wrong. I worry about how I'll feel (and Ryan) if something is wrong. How do you move on from something so horrible? Let's hope I don't have to find out.

Let's face it: I'm crazy... and I worry too much.

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