Friday, March 20, 2009

Funny Friday Fare... alliteration! fu-un!

**Author's Note: Since writing this post, I can't help but notice so, so many of you coming here via Google searches, Image searches and other sources. Almost daily, actually! Peanut's Page is more than just pregnancy tests and alliteration, so feel free to kick off your shoes, take a peek around, and stay a while! I promise you'll find something to suit your fancy...**


Sometimes I get myself into situations where I think, "really? is this as funny as I think it is??" Today, I'll let you be the judge...

I have a friend who has chosen to remain anonymous for the time being. Let's call her, hmm... Betty? 'cuz she's a real Betty! get it??

Anyway, Betty sent me a text message yesterday contemplating the accuracy of pregnancy tests purchased at the dollar store. This got the ball rolling, and set off my "holy crap!" radar... never you worry, she's happily married and a little munchkin at her feet would be far from the worst thing to happen. Not that it's bad to have a baby if you're not married... but... ah--never mind. Slippery slope. Let's just forget I said anything, ok?

Another text showed up a couple of hours later. It stated, simply, "ok, I see a very very faint second line..."

My knees went weak. I got all heart flip-floppy... I needed to sit.down.

...and then she sent me another text this morning. The second test was a big, fat negative. What?! Impossible! A line is a line is a line... I had to see for myself, so we met up today around noon. Without a doubt, there is a line. It's faint, but it's there. See?

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Ok--you probably can't see it. But it's there, I swear it is.

So off to the dollar store we went for more tests...

Betty grabbed a couple of tests from the well-stocked shelf. She turned the tests over in her hand, and reached up for a couple more... and then one more. Five ought to do it, right??

"oh..." I remembered, "...you don't pee on those... we need a cup."

Betty looked uneasy.

So we headed for the cups...

"How about a mug?" I suggested, pointing at a white coffee cup with black swirly designs.

Betty's tone indicated she might prefer a cup of the disposable variety, so we proceeded to the party goods. Jackpot.

Without hesitation, Betty chose the perfect cup. They're petite, cute and have a handle. Just right for the, ehem... task at hand.

We made our way to the front of the store, giggling like school girls over the purchase we were about to make. Who wouldn't feel a little funny toting around FIVE pregnancy tests? and the cups? Well, those make me smile every time I think about 'em...

Taking our place in line, I noticed the woman in front of us as she spotted our goods there on the counter. Her eyes trailed next to me, Camden in tow and clearly not very old, and then to Betty, who looks just as young as I do.

We continued to giggle over the fiasco, and that's when it dawned on us that perhaps a photo would be appropriate. When is a photo not appropriate, I wonder?? For lack of a better method, Betty whipped out her trusty cell phone and started snapping away.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

In line behind us was another store patron. Being a few, erm, generations older than Betty and myself, she appeared to be mortified over what she was witnessing. I can hear her now...

"Ethel, you should have seen these girls. School aged, I tell you, and they thought it funny! Imagine that--feeling giddy over being with child at such an age! I do declare..."

Next, the cashier. This woman was a few fries short of a Happy Meal, but let's not go there. Given my mood, I was eager to test her sense of humor.

"Does this happen often?" I gestured toward the tests.

"Hmm? Oh--these tests are the most accurate on the market! Planned Parenthood even uses them." Her canned response made me laugh out loud. Especially given it had *nothing* to do with what I had said. I was just making fun of Betty and me for being there and buying a varitable CASE of pregnancy tests.

So we escaped with our loot and tried a couple more of 'em... well--she did. I'm certifiably not pregnant. We're not going there for a long, long time.

They're all negative.

I'm not over it yet though... cross your fingers, everyone!

121 comments:

Beka's Blog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rebekah Moore said...

I personally loved your story! I am one of those negative in the morning but positive a few hours later stories that you hear about so check them again! Good luck! And btw, you seriously should write for a living!

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Aw... thanks Rebekah! I appreciate your compliment--really!

Oh! I'll be right over, Veronnica!!

indigoghost said...

Ugh, I hate those tests! I've tried a few, and they never worked. They were all faulty. No positive, no negative... just a big fat nothing in the results. Very frustrating!

As for the faint line..... *points to her ever-growing belly* I took 5 tests (including the ones given to me at the clinic and hospital).. and the first three were so faint, I thought I was seeing things.

There's really no such thing as a false positive. It may be that Betty is "barely" pregnant, and since AM pee has more HCG, there was JUST enough there to make a bit of a line appear... There are sad scenarios, of course, but we won't go there.

It could just be an evaporation line, but I'm sure you'd know the difference. ;)

Whatever the outcome
(and whatever she's hoping for), good luck to Betty!!!

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Jeter may not return to Yankees until next month
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