Another Good Day...

My good days are truly beginning to outnumber the bad... and I've got to say, it really feels good! There was a point when I never thought this time would come, when I didn't know when I'd ever start to feel normal again.

Normal isn't what it used to be, I'll admit, but my "new" normal is growing on me... and I can accept that and appreciate it for what it's worth. I feel comfortable in my own skin more and more lately, and it's something I want to hold on to.

Our next child needs me to be 100% ready... devoted, excited, anxious... and everything else. I'm starting to feel like I'm ready to be there, to give my 100% once again, when the time comes.

I spent Friday working on our SDIBAN* room. The room was a rather dreary shade of gray... and I have to say, I really don't know what I was thinking when I picked it out. (On second thought, I was thinking something along the lines of, "Holy CRAP! I have to get this awful pale yellow OUT of the house!") Anyway, enough about my past painting mistakes... the room is now a delightful shade of turquoise. It's called Wintergreen Ash, and I'm absolutely in love with the color. The hunt is now ON for the perfect sheer, white curtains and some other accessories I imagine when I close my eyes.

I still need Ryan's help to move the over sized fish tank so I can paint behind it, and then I need to put the room back together... I'll post photos of my accomplishments soon, so I can share my pretty turquoise SDIBAN* room with you, my delightful readers.

*SDIBAN = Some Day It'll Be A Nursery.

feta, coffee and paint...

Somewhere between the feta cheese on my salad last night, my morning coffee, and the newly painted bathroom, it dawned on me that I will not be having a baby in May. I've already had my baby, and he is not here with me.

I don't mean to say that I "forget" the details of November and December, but you know how it is. You begin to move on in life, and you begin to live again...and then "BAM!" ...and then nothing is right all over again.