Adios, 2007!

Well, here I am, at the end of 2007. Quite possibly, no, scratch that, definitely the hardest year of my life so far. I’d be lying if I said I was sad to see the year come to an end… in reality, I’m quite happy about a chance to “start fresh” with a new year. If that’s possible.

Because, once again, I’m not feeling very graceful with my words this evening, I’ll make a list as a last resort. Things that were GOOD and things that were BAD in 2007… here we go.

Things that were Good:
• Ryan graduated from college.
• We left our college town behind and moved closer to family.
• We found out we were expecting.
• I became a mother!
• Ryan became a father!
• Although he doesn’t like it much, Ryan got a job with great benefits and what-not, and it pays our bills.

Things that were Bad:
• We lost our precious Brody.
• We left our college town behind and moved closer to family.
• I became a mother to a child I will never have here with me.
• Ryan became a father to a child he will never have here with him.

Mind you, this list could go on for miles and miles, but these are some of the highlights.

I’m sad tonight. No specific reason really, just sad. We bought the ingredients to make champagne cocktails, and pregnant me wouldn’t be allowed to have one. Lost Her Baby me is allowed to have one… hell, FIVE if I want. I don’t want any. I’d trade every alcoholic beverage in the world if it would bring my Brody back to me. I’m just… sad.

I've been reduced to lists for today...

Today, all I have are lists. They’re running through my mind so I might as well share them! First, is a list of things I have to get done today… the list keeps growing, and I can’t seem to make it stop!

Things to do today:

• Finish wrapping the gifts I bought yesterday, rearrange the gifts under the tree so they fit.
• Finish wrapping the presents my step-dad has collected for my mother.
• Go to the grocery store ASAP this morning to avoid a HUGE crowd.
• Go to Stewart’s Meats on the way to McKenna to get my step-dad some beef jerkey and look for a can of Cougar Gold (amazing cheese).
• Go to Sebastian’s European Bakery in Yelm for a dessert for Noah tomorrow night.
• Mop my terribly dirty floors. Sweeping is no longer doing the trick.
• Make the bed.
• Clean the bathroom.
• Call my mother: attempt to make dinner plans for my step-dad’s birthday tonight.
• If Cougar Gold (amazing cheese) isn’t available at Stwart’s, consider driving to Olympia to the only store in town that sells it.


Second, a less useful list. This is a list of things that I’m trying to see in a positive light, for the sake of the season and improving my overall mood… and a list of things that are just downright annoying right now.

Things that are good:

• Tomorrow is Christmas Eve!
• The day after tomorrow is Christmas Day!
• With the exception of picking up one thing for Tristan, I’m DONE with my shopping!
• We have a new furnace! With vents!
• Chelsi got a cute, cute, cute little kitten for Christmas named Riley! Awww….
• My husband makes me breakfast every morning. It’s wonderful!
• A mysterious brown box with white trim and a big, pink bow has appeared under our Christmas tree, courtesy of Ryan. It looks mysteriously similar to a COACH box… and there is a sticky to/from label strategically placed in the lower right corner where the COACH insignia might be located. See the photo, below, and see for yourself!



Things that are bad:

• The roof is leaking. So far, only in the attic, but it’s like a big rain cloud above my head… literally.
• I still (always will) have a nagging daily memory of recent events, and they will interfere with Christmas in such a big way. Never did I imagine that during such a happy time for most, I'd be feeling like dog doo. Never did I imagine I'd be wishing my baby back to me. Never did I imagine I'd feel so completely deflated.
• I can’t figure out how to work the new furnace, (see “good” list) and the temperature has been a little weird so far… will get there.
• I really, really need to get to work on our bathroom and get the tongue-and-groove beadboard, baseboards, crown molding and chair rail done… I wanted it to be done before Chrismukkah, but I just don’t see it happening.
• The bathroom, which is in need of the above improvements, is a horrid shade of yellow… it looks like a school bus in my bathroom… and I really just want the color to GO AWAY! I'll attach photos sometime soon...
• My errand list just keeps growing… good thing I’m patient in traffic. We’ll thank my days of living in Seattle for that.