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Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Blogging has become a part of who I am.
I started this blog one year ago tomorrow. This post will be number 149.
When I started my blog, I was writing about a new pregnancy. I was utterly naive to the depths of despair that can result from those two pink lines on a stick. I was clueless... and boy, did I ever have another thing coming to me. Sometimes you're the bug, sometimes you're the windshield... and I was about to be one serious bug. When I started my blog, I was 23 years old. We were re-doing an old house, owned by Ryan's oh-so-generous Grandparents. Ryan had just gotten word that he'd been hired after a good couple of months of jobless searching.
Now, well, I suppose I'm not so clueless, hmm?? I'm continually amazed that the rewards, however, that have come of our loss and the rocky path it led us to. I never, in a million years, would have associated a dead baby with new friendships, a wealth of knowledge, or some serious self-discovery. Now, I'm 24 years old... still a child in the eyes of so many, yet, most days, I feel like anything but. (Did you even know my age until today?) We're not re-doing a house anymore, and well, we don't even live there now. A year of hard work, all for naught, or not for naught, depending on your point of view... but that's the summary of life. We work our bums off--and for what? Ryan still works for the same company, though I'm so proud to say he's now made it to 'assistant manager' status. A great accomplishment--in fact, he was recognized for making his new status more quickly than ANY other person within the large company. (The pay increase wasn't too shabby either...) Way to go, hubbs!
So many new things are on our horizon. Baby will be here in approximately 75 days. Seventy.Five.Days. I can't believe it. I can't believe we've made it this far, can't believe this dream of ours might actually become reality this time.
So what's this got to do with blogging... and blogging being a part of who I am? A lot, really. Over the last year, I've really come to identify with my blog, with my readers who I adore so much, and with the blogging community. I blog for the memories, for the fun, for the networking... I blog because I want to share a little part of myself with you. Whoever you are.
Why do you blog??
When I started my blog, I was writing about a new pregnancy. I was utterly naive to the depths of despair that can result from those two pink lines on a stick. I was clueless... and boy, did I ever have another thing coming to me. Sometimes you're the bug, sometimes you're the windshield... and I was about to be one serious bug. When I started my blog, I was 23 years old. We were re-doing an old house, owned by Ryan's oh-so-generous Grandparents. Ryan had just gotten word that he'd been hired after a good couple of months of jobless searching.
Now, well, I suppose I'm not so clueless, hmm?? I'm continually amazed that the rewards, however, that have come of our loss and the rocky path it led us to. I never, in a million years, would have associated a dead baby with new friendships, a wealth of knowledge, or some serious self-discovery. Now, I'm 24 years old... still a child in the eyes of so many, yet, most days, I feel like anything but. (Did you even know my age until today?) We're not re-doing a house anymore, and well, we don't even live there now. A year of hard work, all for naught, or not for naught, depending on your point of view... but that's the summary of life. We work our bums off--and for what? Ryan still works for the same company, though I'm so proud to say he's now made it to 'assistant manager' status. A great accomplishment--in fact, he was recognized for making his new status more quickly than ANY other person within the large company. (The pay increase wasn't too shabby either...) Way to go, hubbs!
So many new things are on our horizon. Baby will be here in approximately 75 days. Seventy.Five.Days. I can't believe it. I can't believe we've made it this far, can't believe this dream of ours might actually become reality this time.
So what's this got to do with blogging... and blogging being a part of who I am? A lot, really. Over the last year, I've really come to identify with my blog, with my readers who I adore so much, and with the blogging community. I blog for the memories, for the fun, for the networking... I blog because I want to share a little part of myself with you. Whoever you are.
Why do you blog??
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Of all things...
THIS makes my stomach turn and twist into knots... do these people have ANY idea how many women in the world WANT the children they cannot have?
Friday, July 18, 2008
Any Ugly Pair of Shoes
I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable Shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in the world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by
before they think of how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of the shoes I am a stronger women.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.
Author Unknown
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable Shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in the world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by
before they think of how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of the shoes I am a stronger women.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.
Author Unknown
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Thinking of you...
A dear, sweet friend found out that she lost her baby today... I am at a complete loss for words, and so stunned over the news. We all thought for sure this pregnancy of hers was going well, and we just *knew* the end results were going to be the best possible.
Whatever you do... pray, wish on stars... please send her your positive vibes for a speedy physical AND emotional recovery.
Whatever you do... pray, wish on stars... please send her your positive vibes for a speedy physical AND emotional recovery.
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